Fragmentation of
the Modern Mind

How the connection among
people is breaking down
Almost continual media consumption, living alone, ever less real face to face human contact, is, I fear, leaving us shattered and shaking, far from the grounded, loving selves we seek to be — and, as I see it, far from what God means us to be.
The bottom line, according to the US Census of 2006, the thing that American do more than any other, more than work, is to consume media (though I don't think they're counting sleep). It clearly is the dominant thing in our lives, and in our culture.
One in four adult Americans live alone.
I read that a Sunday New York Times gives you more new information than a typical person in the 18th century got in their entire life. So things really are speeding up.
From my industry, videogames, a survey was done some years ago by a game magazine, where they asked who was the most attractive woman in the world — and the winner was not a real woman. It was the Tomb Raider gal (played by Angelina Jolie in the Tomb Raider movie, but they were talking about the character in the game). The woman they liked best was a pixelized fake.
What about a video screen on your toothbrush (don't laugh).
It's been predicted by the Gartner (research) Group that "by 2010, 70% of the population in developed countries will spend 10 times longer per day interacting with people in the online world than in the physical one…" As we forget what a real woman and a real friend feels like, don't we step into a shadowy replica of life?
Electronic coldness doesn't get much worse than dumping a boyfriend or girlfriend via texting — and then of course immediately blocking them from your cell phone and de-friending them on Facebook.
For me, the very fact that there's a word like ‘parasocial' is totally creepy. (meaning "relationships" with celebrities)
Maybe it's just too hard to make personal, face to face relationships. Are we giving up, just laying back and popping in the iPod ear buds — while your spouse does the same beside you in bed, as my wife accused me of doing the other evening. Are we irreversibly headed down the slippery slope?
Facebook and the myriad other social sites are meant to be personal, and compared to plain email I'd say they're almost cozy — with pictures of friends and family, and little personal notes about whatever's going on.
Back to the big picture, the importance of always being connected (like the 24/7 news cycle), is shown in a young woman's comment in a New York Times article: "It's like, if you don't check your email, and you turn off your phone, it's almost like you don't exist."
If we interact with people "on screen" ten times as much as in person, eschew phone calls because texting is quicker (really because it's safer); retreat behind a fire wall of email — what does that mean for us? If we devote five months of every year to media, how much more can we take? Forget the tipping point, I think we're already just trying to keep our head above water. I think we're at the desperate place.
Those who say that definitely "our whole family usually eats dinner together" declined 1/3 the last 20 years of the 20th century (p. 100, Bowling Alone)
"With increased use of automobiles, the life of the sidewalk and the front yard has largely disappeared… There are few places as desolate and lonely as a suburban street on a hot afternoon." (p. 211, Bowling Alone)
I can't forget when I was much younger, and people were given an offer: a million dollars, if they would give up TV forever. Most people turned it down.
Things really aren't going so well. Twenge echoes Putnam's work, in noting that before 1915 only 1-2% of Americans had a major depression, while today it's 15-20%. In a "1990's study, 21% of teens aged 15-17" already had had a major depression. It's long been known that isolation and loneliness are major causes of depression, and deepen it. And the definition of depression here is fairly "strict" — the person must be taking medication, or be in "long term therapy." (p. 105-6, The Me Generation)
When middle schoolers were given five options of what to be in their life, the #1 thing they chose (43% of them) was to be the personal assistant to a celebrity. Only 10% wanted to be the chief of a major company, 14% a US Senator, 24% president of a great University. (p. XVI, Fame Junkies)
In 1963 the top 20 most admired people in the world included figures like Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, etc. — but not one entertainment/sports/or media star. In 2005 there were six on the list, from Mel Gibson to Rush Limbaugh (oh my). (page XVI, Fame Junkies)
The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that the typical kid will have seen "40,000 murders and 200,000 other violent acts on TV" by the time they're 18. (p. XXII, Fame Junkies) The media and celebrity have become our reality — and it's pretty dark and twisted.
If we have strong and loving connections with other people, neural pathways in the brain grow and are strengthened; if not, the neural pathways can decline (p. 41 etc., Social Intelligence). If the neural pathways atrophy, the ability to relate to others is greatly diminished. It appears we can literally forget how to love. Still, this impulse to care for others seems to be one of the most basic of all human feelings.
How connected can we be? While I'm twitty at times, my wife and I, married 30 years, will sometimes start thinking of the same thing (a new topic), and both start talking about it at the same time. How can that happen? "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy," as the Bard would say.
When the brain wears down, when the neural pathways for empathy are lessened, we eventually lose most of our capability to connect. If this were to happen to our entire culture, we'd be done.
In the extreme case of psychopaths, they actually have little recognition of "fear or sadness on people's faces or in their voices." (p. 128, Social Intelligence). They just don't get it, and brain imagery shows the blanks in their neural pathways.
If you're not convinced yet, here are more medical impacts for being lovingly connected, or not. For men being treated for heart disease, those with the least emotional support had "40% more blockage." (p. 224, Social Intelligence) "… data from a number of large epidemiological studies suggest that toxic relationships are as major a risk factor for disease and death as are smoking, high blood pressure, or cholesterol, obesity, and physical inactivity." (p 224) Stop smoking, or get connected — seems like an easy choice.
What bound America together most in the second half of the 20th century was the terrible challenges we faced: the dust bowl, the depression, and the world agony of World War II. People who faced and fought down the world evil of Nazism had a group trust it is hard for us to imagine today. Recently, as I was organizing a weekend retreat for my church, I realized I had not trusted a group of people like this since I was in Boy Scouts 40 years ago. Corporate life, for me, was pretty soulless.
We can't just say no. If you want to cut a child's media time, you have to lead them in a new direction. Offer them other things to do, drive them to the park, support them seeing their friends. Maybe read together, get wild and meditate together, just have five minutes of quiet time together. Maybe you can help them find an inner life and stillness that will hold them in good stead throughout their lives.
In 1976, a study from the University of Michigan looked back two decades and found that: "Over these two decades informal socializing with friends and relatives declined by about 10%, organizational memberships fell by 16%, and church attendance… declined by 20%." These declines included "unions; church groups; fraternal and veterans organizations; civic groups such as PTA's; youth groups; charities…" etc. (p. 58-59, Bowling Alone) This has continued into the 21st century.
In his seminal work, Bowling Alone, the work which has meant the most to me for this project — sociologist Robert Putnam studied the collapse of social connection which occurred from the 1970's to the start of the new century, but he also looked back at the end of the 19th century, when America moved from the closeness of rural life to crowded, violent cities where they knew no one.
Despite all that was lost in the new city life, the social fabric was rewoven. We joined clubs, set up societies, came together and touched each other. Many of the major institutions of the 20th century grew incredibly in response to this challenge — like the League of Women Voters, Lions Club, Boy Scouts, etc. We may have been jammed together in cities, but we found a way. And jammed together on the internet as we are now, we too will find a way.
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FRAGMENTATION OF THE MODERN MIND REPORT

 Click to Download Printable PDF
  Introduction
  Bowling Alone, a restrospective on the 20th century
  Since we’re not so connected, what are we doing?
  Social Intelligence… what about our brain?
  Bowen Research study highlights, where are we now?
  Final thoughts.

Hugh Bowen,
Bowen Research
winter, 2010

FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s one of my darker musings on this subject, from about ten years ago.

The Flicker of the Candle

Out of the cover of darkness, rode the soldiers of light, but are they enough?

The quiet voice of the 19th century, a century filled with pure sunlight falling on a quiet English lane, a time of broad, sunlight uplands – this voice was stilled.  The hand of God was taken from us, or maybe we dropped it, as we danced in all our primal anger.  The dulcet tones of Monet, and the glorious “great baggy monsters” as Henry James called the 19th century novel, gave way to 1914.

Death in the trenches, a mechanized and mindless death, a “chorus of shells” wailing overhead, ushered in the new century.  A great darkness fell upon the land, but not the fertile darkness of soil where seeds sleep.

Rather a black night filled with the bursting of cannon, rattle of machine guns, the cut of barbed wire stopping the forlorn platoon.

Blindly we marched forward, desperately seeking the dawn.  The touch of the human hand and the flicker of the candle gave way to the softly glowing phosphors of our computer screen; but they don’t hug us back (they don’t even know we’re here)! Television became our only companion, as we sit in an empty room. 

Yet, I have hope.   As someone said, humans are the most adaptable of all species.  Further, as Deborah Boyd the Harvard Fellow, wrote in a Ph.D thesis on teens and online social networks: “When asked teens consistently reported that they would prefer to socialize in physical places without constant parental oversight.”  Ultimately, I think, we know what’s best for us, that it’s best to really connect.  We will seek it out, and so will find it.

In his seminal work, Bowling Alone, the work which has meant the most to me for this project – sociologist Robert Putnam studied the collapse of social connection which occurred from the 1970’s to the start of the new century, but he also looked back at the end of the 19th century, when America moved from a rural to an urban setting.  From the village and the farm, to the city and the factory.  He describes wonderfully how people in rural life knew everyone, and life essentially never moved faster than the pace of a walking horse.  Everything was known in the community, and within reach.  This was traded for city life where no one knew anyone, and many worked 12 hour days in inhuman factories.  Sociologists, and I suppose people in general, threw up their hands in horror.  What had been lost, how could it possibly be regained?  But maybe people didn’t despair as much as the sociologists, since after all they weren’t just thinking about it – they were living it.

Despite all that was lost (and some things like rural poverty were good to lose), the social fabric was rewoven.  We joined clubs, set up societies, came together and touched each other.  Many of the major  institutions of the 20th century grew incredibly in response to this challenge – like the League of Women Voters, Lions Club, Boy Scouts, local churches, the PTA, the Italian American Club and the Big Sisters and Big Brothers.  We may have been jammed together in cities, but we found a way.  And jammed together on the internet as we are, we too will find a way.

Why will we do it again?

  1. We are looking for it, and what may seem to be the major bug-a-boo, technology, may even be able to help.  Facebook and other social sites, or entirely new approaches, may connect people, bring people spiritual direction and connection to their own still inner self.
  1. What bound America together most in the second half of the 20th century was the terrible challenges we faced: the dust bowl, the depression, and the world agony of World War II.  We came together because we had to.  People who faced and fought down the world evil of Nazism had a group trust it is hard for us to imagine today.  Recently, as I was organizing a weekend retreat for my church, I realized I had not trusted a group of people like this since I was in Boy Scouts 40 years ago.  For me (with some personal exceptions), corporate life was a meltdown; purely soulless, only about money.  But now I am feeling a different spirit.

We are facing the threat of global economic collapse at the worst, and in the US many millions of people and their families with no jobs, two wars overseas, a health care system in the US collapsing under it’s own weight.  Everyone feels the hole we’re in – it’s deep, the sides are muddy, and we’re trying to look up at the light.  If someone else gives me a leg up, I won’t forget it.

  1. We are the most adaptable of species.
  1.  I can’t believe God means for us to slip into darkness, forever.

The opposite of trust is fear.  The opposite of peace is anarchy.  If so, then maybe the opposite of faith is aimlessness, and thinking you can only rely on yourself.  I think as important as self-reliance, as important as love of self, is trust and reliance on our closest folk, and community.

It may be that I’m better here at describing the problem, than the solution.  Though I do feel each person and group has to find their own way.  I’m trying to raise the issue, get people aiming at this.  Small steps can make a lot of difference.  Turn off the TV for one evening, or turn it off early, and do something with your spouse – read together, talk together, be together. 

We can’t just say no.  If you want to cut a child’s media time, you have to lead them in a new direction.

Offer them other things to do, drive them to the park, support them seeing their friends.  Maybe read together, get wild and meditate together, just have five minutes of quiet time together.  Maybe you can help them find an inner life and stillness that will hold them in good stead throughout their lives

In my life, my family, faith and meditation have done the most to bring me back down to earth, and closer to spirit.  My church community, the local Methodist church here in Half Moon Bay, California, is my larger community.  Reading the Bible was my first real experience of faith (have read it through seven times since then).  Reading Thich Nhat Hanh was my first exposure to meditation.  Though I am probably more of a solitary intellectual than most, so my experience may not be right for you.  (and trust me, I too still struggle with too much media)

I certainly wouldn’t want people just running out to join any group – (not the crazy cults, for sure).  Finding how to connect might be hard, if you’ve been relying on the Internet too much.

But people of like minds and hearts can find each other, I feel sure.  Above all, I wish you well.

Hugh Bowen

Bowen Research

 

DIRECT COMMENTS FROM CONSUMERS IN OUR ONLINE STUDY, CONSUMERS GENERAL THOUGHTS ON HOW WE’RE DOING IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

I think that people of different ideas, faiths, etc. should listen to each other more. At the very least, hear the other person out. I think the older generation is too stubborn to listen to the other side. And we need to learn from the mistakes of our parents. Doesn't mean you have to agree, but you need to have the forbearance to listen and agree to disagree.

I feel with the addition of social networking, we are connected more. But through the web/email/social networks more than through talking to each other live. those social networks are now a thing to talk about amongst my circle. its a weird personal disconnection, but also a very interactive connection through the web.

The younger generation rely way too much on technology and seriously lack social skills in many ways.

Many people live in their own little "bubble".  Maybe, need technology?

I feel like the country is going downhill very quickly because people don't think for themselves anymore, and only mimic what they hear on t.v and what is driven by the media. 

We are de-uniting.  We are becoming a more selfish, greedy society. 

Spend more time face to face with phones turned off.

Until the economy recovers, more and more people will stay into themselves and into their own inner circle as they feel they have to protect themselves

i think its falling apart

ever one just needs to look after each other a little more

The monetary system sucks

I think the only Honest leadership is of a small band or tribe with nothing more than the tribe's interest,

are now anti-evolving as a species. The most likely people on the planet to survive, reproduce, and live into the future of a global economy are the richest, dirtiest (ethically), and most inconsiderate of us.                    

they're each just waiting for their turn to speak.

Branjolina doesnt matter, Tom Cruise doesn't matter, people fill their minds and their energy with such negative, useless stuff.

We value celebrities and their unreal real life. We value crimes, shocking stories, and horrible accidents.

I think we have taken several steps back and are much more myopic and self centered then we were a few decades ago.  

I like that we have social forums like facebook to reach out to more people that we would normally have in our social circles.

Local government has failed its people severely.

People as a whole have become a lot more greedy.

We need more face-to-face discourse, less reliance on electronic devices and short cuts.

seems we have less and less time to spend on personal relationships.

This online age, this age of 2.0 has disconnected people in so many ways it's not worth arguing. Everyone sees it in their daily lives, yet not many see it for what it is, we've become acclimated to this dis sensitivity.

I think we should get back to some of the basics of communication like using eye contact, being more attentive and being more open to suggestions or different views.

We always think of what we're about to say next rather than truly listening to the other person...

I feel that the Internet has had a major negative impact on how we treat each other as people. We are much ruder than before, and online the attacks are shockingly racist, sexist, and even evil.

Its like an insult media frenzy most of the time

It's a me-me-me society.

I think the more "connected" people get on social networks and cell phone and e-mail, the less we interact on a personal level, the more rude people seem, and the less we seem actually connected on an interpersonal level.

I think that people can connect and get in touch with each other much more easily thanks to the advancements in technology

everyone cares so much about themselves and are so selfish that they will keep the connection further apart. If we were all able to consider each others feelings and begin using less technology again to communicate we can get feelings across easier

Not enough involvement in community and caring for others.

People fake kindness and emotion too much; many people are selfish

If we keep going at the rate we have been, we, as a people, are in real danger of losing connectivity.

I think the advent of mass media and communication shows how narcissistic we are.

I also think that the more technologically dependent we are, the less in-person exposure is to be had for developing interpersonal and social skills.

I feel like everything is more superficial now, due to the internet and technology

No real camraderie, we only get together as a whole over something negative or bad happens to someone else. 

Nobody of the much bigger groups (political, government, etc) are really listening to each other nowadays

Most people are not really connected, mostly superficial relationships

We have developed instant communication before we became responsible and civil enough to use it correctly.

Should focus more on fostering communities with face-to-face contact.

Families could sit down together for dinner,and turn the cell phones and t.v. off!

We need to communicate more and do more face to face interacting

There seems to be a lot more people that shelter themselves on the internet and don't have social skills.

People are beginning to rely on online communication too much.

there is more arguing than talking.

listen to each other and not try to interupt

use less electronics and more face to face communication

I think people are relying more upon emails and gadgets and we need to do more direct and in-person interaction.

I feel like our country is disconnected from each other despite all our technology.

In times of community trials and need, we see the banding of people helping one another

but I think at some point people will just get sick of it and time spent texting or emailing will get shorter and shorter.

until the economy got bad and families were forced to rely on relatives and everyone has to live together...funny how things/ unseen forces have a way of making people live and behave like they really should. 

I feel in my circle of my friends, my relationships are very strong. However, when looking at the world as a whole, relationships are very weak.

I feel like relations as a nation are improving. with social sites such as facebook or myspace, alot of poeple are becoming better acquainted with each other.

people are becoming more selfish, people have less time to deal with politics, less time to work on having a quality connection with friends & family.

If every person would take 2 minutes to compliment a complete stranger...I feel this world would be a better place.

Technology is a runaway train

I think people are too reliant on email, cell phones, etc. for communication

Seems like we only come together when we are threatened or under attack by another country

Society has given its people the freedom to voice their opinions to the point where no one cares to even listen as long as they get their word out

we need to lay off the facebook

I believe people are still kind and caring and thoughtful, but we've lost any sense of decorum on how to treat each other in person-to-person situations and this frightens me. 

I think that there is alot of fear in the whole contry that prevents use as a whole from really coming together.

Its easier to be an a..hole through an email than in person.

Egoism has led to selfish and predatory behavior in the workplace and the traditional safety net of the familial structure has been on decline for the last 60 years.  This results in people being alienated from one another and from their own selves, and so worried about their jobs that they are not up for being social.                   

I think we ignore each other more due to technology (ipods, cell phone) people are so into their own thing they tend to ignore others.

We just need to treat one another better and pay full attention instead of texting on our phones or being preoccupied with something else.

No one wants to hear opposing points of view

people (including me) need to do a better job of listening.

I think our country seems more divided than ever when it comes to race, politics, ideas, and how they connect with one another.

Since most of our connections are through electronics, family and close friend ties have gotten worse.

we see a lot more of who someone "really is" at their psyche than we did in school and work social situations prior to the information revolution. For better or for worse.          

I think we will distance ourselves more and more from each other as we use technology more and more.

we are being conditioned to have short attention spans. 

A lot of people seem to be withdrawing more away from reality and in person speaking and gravitating to the online world.

People don't even care about actually relating to each other and view interaction as some sort of contest that they try to win

When you smile and say hi to someone on the street, they ignore you, or look at you crazy. I think people are losing their inner self and becoming selfish

I just think maybe there should be more balance.  Ideally, things like cell phones, e-mail, online communities, etc should make for much better interpersonal relations considering the fact that we have more and faster ways to communicate with each other.  But I feel we tend to get a little too caught up in the electronic communication and the in person relations suffer for it.

I believe since our nation has been economically depressed, more and more people have expressed more gratitude towards one another. Online networking has a role in this too. People tend to be more upbeat about things because they're willing to share their everyday life activities with one another via online networking.

People seem much more insular and less willing to connect outside their belief system or circle of established friends.

People seem much more insular and less willing to connect outside their belief system or circle of established friends.

 I have literally seen people dating where they sit across from one another in a restaurant and text and laugh rather than look one another in the eye and speak like normal humans should do

Technology has not helped foster close relationships.  We need to get back to the era of house calls and meeting people face to face.

when 9/11 happened we drew together as a nation & helped one another & showed support & kindness to one another. It was amazing! now it seems that has been forgotten & people are back to their self-centered ways, rushing through life & forgetting about others. very sad :( we need to wake up & help one another freely again.

people communicate via text or IM when they should be conversing in person -- breaking up with someone.. saying happy birthday..etc.

 

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